We all want to be seen, understood, and appreciated for who we are, how we are, where we’ve come from, and what we’re doing. Especially by those we are most intimate with.

Relationship therapy is not just about building or uncovering a shared foundation of honesty, trust, and security. It’s also about two (or more) people learning how to hold space for and communicate their own experience right alongside the experiences of those they love. It’s a balance of learning how to take care of oneself, while also learning how we can support each other to grow into our most whole, authentic selves too.

In every interaction with our partner(s), we bring our whole life and previous experiences into the present moment—

• Our attachment styles: the neurobiological foundation for understanding how our bodies, minds (and hearts) respond to signals of safety and threat, closeness and distance in relationships

• Our families of origin: provided our rules, models, and expectations for being a human and being in relationship. Each family is its own culture. When you’re interacting with your partner(s), you’re interacting with their entire family too.

• Our lived experiences, traumas, and mental health diagnoses that inform our present moment and how we experience it

I engage in couples and relationship therapy from an existential humanistic + attachment theory + meditation lens. We all want to be our whole, authentic selves in relationships and to have loving space held for that authenticity and wholeness.

• Existential humanism explores how we can live our lives more consciously and honestly, and how we can move towards self-actualization, as individuals and within our relationships too. It helps us recognize ourselves and our partners as individuals with wants, hopes, dreams, and fears- for ourselves, our lives, and our relationships.

• Attachment theory helps us understand the neurobiology of how we relate to others, ourselves, and our emotions based on how we learned to relate to others when we were young. It’s the science of why and how relationships affect us so much, and how we can learn to attune to each other.

• Meditation teaches us that we are all ultimately responsible for our own emotions. That so often what upsets me about you, is actually my own “stuff” I am seeing you through. That there are many needs which ultimately only we can meet for ourselves, but which society has taught us are for someone else to resolve.

Together these lenses help us see ourselves and our partners in totality- body, mind, and spirit, and to take responsibility for our side of the equation, while learning how to communicate how we may need help along the way.

Relationships are often the source of some of our greatest challenges and pains, but they are also the source of some of the greatest opportunities for deep growth and connection, and even for finding ourselves.

Relationships are about the willingness to show up continuously, to keep trying, to be willing to be vulnerable, to be “wrong” (or not 100% right), to be shifted, to grow, expand, and hold space for more and more of ourselves and each other as we go along. To understand how we impact each other. To be willing to take responsibility for ourselves and our impact, even if it wasn’t our intention. To learn from each other’s strengths rather than be resentful of our differences.

If you’re ready for the work, I’m ready to meet you there. It’s an honor to step into the sacred space of relationship with you and your beloved(s). Reach out today for a free consultation.