Fall 2025: LIGHT + DARKNESS = WHOLENESS
This fall and this year has taught me again and again that there are no “perfect” places, people, or moments. That nothing in life comes without some darkness and difficulty, and that actually there is nothing wrong with that! That darkness is a part of the wholeness of life and what completes the picture of Life.
Here’s a funny little personal story to encapsulate this.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve historically tended to fall into the “grass is always greener” fantasy thoughts as a way of distancing myself from whatever reality I’m currently sitting in if I don’t like something or it’s currently difficult.
I have a friend whom I love deeply and who I have felt really “gets me” in a way I haven’t experienced very often with others. Whenever we’re together, our timing with Life seems like it’s aligning perfectly, our emotional journeys seem to align perfectly, our adventures always feel glorious and rose colored wherever we go.
We got together this fall and I was having one of those “everything is perfect” moments while sitting on a driftwood log next to the bay and watching the waves. I was feeling like life was glorious and nothing could get me down. Then I looked down and I realized that I had sat in literal shit and my hand and pants were covered in it! So much for my picture perfect moment of all glory. I could have been upset or embarrassed, but instead I saw it as Life laughing at me and my fallacies of perfection and reminding me yet again— there are no perfect moments without some kind of shit included.
What if we looked at every experience of struggle or hardship or pain or suffering with that all-encompassing embrace? Instead of railing against and resisting the hardships of life and wondering what we did to deserve such punishment, what if we could realize that this too is just another natural part of life in its wholeness.
This may seem easy to do with a temporary pile of poo compared to other experiences of suffering, and it is. But this idea has been around for millennia and transcends time and space. One of my favorite stories from the Bhagavad Gita (an important Hindu scripture believed to have been written somewhere between the 5th and 2nd centuries BCE) is from chapter 11, when the human warrior Arjuna asks God to reveal his true universal form. In the story, when God is finally revealed in his true form, he is all the things you might expect of Godliness- endless beauty, divinity, the radiance of a thousand suns. But he is also terrifying, gruesome, and destructive, with endless mouths and vicious teeth. “Wondrous and terrible”— this is life described in its wholeness. And perhaps unsurprisingly, when Arjuna the human warrior actually sees all of this, he has a human reaction. He is scared and asks the God to return to his pleasant form.
This is all of us. When life hands us fear, destruction, misery, suffering, we resist and we think something is wrong. We want life to return to the beautiful, pleasing version we had a moment ago. But to live in only the light is to live only half of life. We do the same thing with the dark parts of our inner world. When we are depressed or angry or jealous or without inspiration, we may feel ashamed of ourselves or guilty and wonder what is wrong with us. But these experiences are also a part of the human experience. Nothing is not included.
I spent some time reading Carl Jung and studying the archetypes this fall. A few newsletters back I shared about the “Archetypes” oracle deck by Kim Kranz I was exploring. The tagline of that deck is “Embrace all, reject none.” This is easy to say and hard to do. But I can promise you, by making space for the darkness alongside the light, we realize our capacity is so much larger than we thought, and we uncover parts and skills within ourselves that we didn’t know were buried, and that bring us closer to integration and wholeness. Life actually becomes less scary the more we practice engaging with the darkness, within and without, if we can hold that perspective of “this too.” This too is a part of the human experience, and of Life. Whatever it is, inside or out, it is a part of Life.
This is not a magic bandaid that will cure the world of its issues, but it is a way in. In to approaching the reality of life, all parts of life, without turning away or pretending. And as we learn how to hold space for all of our difficult inner experiences, it helps us learn how to show up for the outer experiences that challenge us too, with compassion for ourselves and for others along the way.
Meditation of the month: tonglen
One of the ways we can learn to hold space for the parts of life that are difficult is with tonglen.
It is a natural and biological response to turn away from pain and things we don’t like. And yet, we do have the ability to face difficult and painful things. Tonglen is a Buddhist meditation technique that flips the idea of turning away on its head and teaches us how to lean in to whatever is difficult, for ourselves and for others, and to increase compassion along the way. Pema Chödrön does a beautiful job of describing the practice here. Check out my video to learn more and to try it out.
Latest offerings:
Cosmic Reflections:
Learn and practice meditating in a supportive & customized 1:1 setting
-30 minutes- 1.5 hour sessions
-Ages 8+
-Available worldwide
Relationship therapy for humans who want to understand themselves, each other, and the spaces and dynamics that relationships create. Relationship therapy that is existential and humanistic + uses attachment theory + brings a meditation lens.
Online Meditation with Meditation Momma
Meditation for Modern Mystics winter series
8 weeks January 14 – March 4
Wednesdays 6:00–7:20pm PT
Kids classes for kids ages 8-middle school.
Small, intimate, and supportive groups for kids to learn and practice meditation skills and explore emotions. Classes start the week of January 12 and run for 6 weeks.
In-person meditation at Fern and Thistle Massage and Spa (previously St. Johns Spa)
-Monday evenings, 7-8 pm
Come chill with us on Monday nights and ease your way into the week from a more grounded place within.
books of autumn:
Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity by Devon Price, PhD
I had a medication prescriber who specializes in ADHD tell me that “If you read this book and you connect deeply with what is written, then congratulations, you’re on the autism spectrum.”
I’m still sorting through my own convergence of neurodivergent traits and trauma traits (turns out there’s a lot of overlap in symptoms and the effects on how we feel and show up in social scenarios) but that’s okay. It’s been an affirming journey regardless. I highly recommend to anyone who’s had a moment of suspecting themselves or a loved one of neurodivergence to find your own way through this experience. (And it’s much more affordable than going through all the Autism testing.)
Journal prompt for the season:
It’s the holiday season here in the US and this year has really had me questioning the traditional holidays that we’ve been handed and wanting to recreate and rework holidays so that they feel true and aligned with my values, timelines, and heritage. Next year I’ll be exploring the Pagan Sabbats as a way of honoring and exploring my European/witch lineages and because I love that the Pagan holiday wheel actually aligns with and honors the natural world and life cycles happening around me.
So the prompt is this— how would you like to celebrate the year? What holidays would you keep, and which would you change, and how and why? If there were no rules of how things “should” be, how would you want them to be to celebrate life in ways that align with your values and traditions?
If you’re wanting to explore alongside me, stay tuned to the blog for the upcoming year and consider starting off this journey with a winter solstice intention setting ritual.
Since getting hooked on my meditation center’s annual winter solstice intention setting meditation, I’ve spent the last 5 years watching intentions be set and seeded, struggle to push into the earth, grow in fits and spurts, and flourish in ways I could never have imagined. If you’re looking for a new and true way to lovingly close out a year while intentionally beginning a new one in ways that are deeply personal and authentic to your inner knowing, I highly recommend this practice or creating a practice of your own!
Wishing you a winter of rest and reflection with much Love and care,
Kelsey
