Reflections on May 2025: In the Flow
Astrology: Taurus (earthy, pleasure, luxe, grounded, life) —> Gemini (ideas, curiosity, communication, expression)
Themes: Water. Ocean. Rivers. Flow. Change, Family. Emotions. Inner child. Joy. Fun
The Guest House
Jalaluddin Rumi
Translated by Coleman Barks
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Last month’s journal prompt was around exploring which emotions are difficult for us to face and/or allow. The art therapy prompt was about using art to express anger. As it turns out, anger is an emotion that’s difficult for me to face and allow. My explorations of these prompts became a 2 for 1 special this past month.
Anger is not an emotion that was ever really allowed or expressed in my family. (Except, of course, for the times when dad would yell or mom would emote anger but never actually talk about it.) My parents made an agreement (from a well-intentioned place) to not argue in front of us kids. And while that was a loving idea (that I’m sure was an effort to save us from what they might have suffered through)… that agreement, in combination with being an emotionally sensitive child who could sense anger but never saw it healthily expressed, and with society at large being anti-women’s-anger, meant that anger got buried deep, deep down inside me and told that it was not welcome or allowed. Going largely unexpressed for 30+ years. (Except the times when I would positively burst, usually only with (on) whomever was my romantic partner at the time. Not ideal.)
Fast forward through the last 5 years of lots of meditation and therapy and learning how to take care of my emotions and communicate about them in intentional ways (still learning and practicing!), and finally, the stage was set for anger to arise and move through my system.
I invited anger in,
and she showed up howling at the injustice and pain and confusion of it all.
And I let her rage.
I turned on my angry music full blast and scream-sang the lyrics in the shower as the water flowed alongside my tears.
I continued post-shower with the scream-singing and added in jumping and stomping up and down in my bedroom, feeling the impact of my feet and legs slamming into the earth and the earth being right there to hold me and meet me. (proprioception input really helps me feel and be in my body)
I yelled and sang and stomped and thrashed until my body was tired.
Then I opened up a sketchpad and dragged out all my red crayons, and I let them do the talking.
I smashed and scribbled and moved furiously across the paper with my red wax, felt the crayons snapping in my hand one by one, as I expressed wildly and with no plan or vision, my rage onto paper…
Eventually, the pressure was released enough, and it was time for bed.
What do you see in the image?
As I awoke the next morning, the rage was still burning.
But I had work to do.
And instead of telling rage she had to go away,
I told her she was welcome, and that I wanted her to stay and swirl as she needed to.
I let her know I would be a witness and a container to her movement,
but that I needed to move through my day too.
So I watched her from the rim of the storm, as she swirled and whirled and raged like a wild tornado, and as I continued my tasks of adult living that day.
And eventually she dissipated.
And eventually she changed form.
And gave way to a great grief and sadness.
And I invited her in too.
After all this holding, all this allowing of my emotions to be and to flow through…
I can say with full confidence: this is the closest I’ve ever felt with myself, and with my inner child. That she trusts me, knows that I’m listening, and knows that I want to help her through whatever she’s experiencing.
You see, emotions want to move through us. (E-motion). They want our attention.They want to know that we’ve seen them, and that we’ve listened to their message about our inner world. Sometimes they want to be tended and held. Sometimes they need to stay for a while.
But mostly they want to deliver their message, and then they can pass on through.
We live in a highly emotionally avoidant culture that shames people for having and expressing emotions. So to be willing to turn towards your emotions, allow them to be there, investigate them with curiosity, nurture yourself through their arising and moving through… this is not just hugely skillful work, it’s also hugely courageous work.
And its one of the only ways to truly, deeply meet and heal yourself into wholeness.
Our emotions are a part of our experience. We cannot control our emotions, as they are a natural response to our experiences that came before this moment.
But what we can do is change (over time and with much patient practice) how we interact with our emotions, and how we express them.
We can make engaging with our emotions a bearable experience. Though it may be scary until we become more familiar with all of our emotions (which is okay!), and it may never be pleasant or wholly comfortable. But ultimately emotions are a part of us, a huge portion of our experience. And so in order to be whole, we must someday come to know and embrace these parts of us.
How do we do this?
Well, you’re in the right spot.
Come see me for individual or couples therapy, and/or come meditate with me! Details on current offerings and openings below.
Read on to learn about the kinds of tools and practices I use personally and professionally to practice being with emotions.
Tool of the month:
RAIN
I’ve taken a few RAIN workshops through my meditation center and it has changed my life and the ways I’m able to work with my emotions.
I know RAIN through Tara Brach and more detailed information, descriptions, and guided meditations can be found on her website here.
RAIN is a tool of radical compassion that can be used to face difficult emotions.
RAIN is an acronym that stands for
Recognize
Allow
Investigate
Nurture
R- Recognize “there is an emotional event occurring in my body”
A- Allow the emotions and the sensations that come with those emotions to be there, just as they are
I- Investigate with kindness. If it’s a big emotional wave and the mind is spinning, it can be helpful to “stay out of the story” and purely focus on the sensations in the body.
How is this emotion showing up in my body? Where is it located?
If I had to describe this sensation to someone, how would I describe it? (Examples: tight, clenching, hot, spiky, numb, frozen, closed up, buzzing)
Does the sensation have a center point?
How big does the sensation extend? (For example, if the sensation is centered around your chest, does it extend into your throat or your belly?)
Is there anywhere in my body not experiencing this sensation? (check out your feet and hands)
Is the sensation changing as I pay attention to it?
When you feel more grounded, you might investigate further with questions like” When is the earliest time I remember feeling this way? What kind or supportive words or gestures might the me of that time have needed? What is this really about? Listen for the answers without judgment or explaining them away. Just listen, and thank whichever parts of you are willing to share their truth.
N- Nurture yourself through this often painful, tender moment with great self-compassion. What does this hurting part of you need to feel seen, heard, understood, allowed, or appreciated? What are the words you like to hear that actually comfort you? Maybe it’s something like…
I’m right here with you.
I love you.
I know how much this hurts right now.
I see you. I’m listening.
It’s okay for you to be right there, just as you are.
Maybe you also feel better when you have a hug or gentle touch of acknowledgement. You can try…
Placing your hand (or hands) over your heart, or wherever you feel that emotion showing up in your body
Giving yourself a hug
Holding your own hands
Rocking yourself
These self-supportive touches communicate directly to the body that you are with yourself and caring.
RAIN takes practice. Sometimes it’s enough and helps emotions move through in minutes, sometimes it takes days of coming back to this process. But the more you practice, the more natural it becomes as a way of being with yourself! Your emotions and inner child will thank you.
Journal prompt:
If I could have a conversation with my inner child, what would I want to say to them? Is there anything they’d like to say to me?
You can try using your dominant hand to write as an adult and your non-dominant hand to write as your younger self, or use two different colored pens. Try asking your inner young one: “Is there anything you want to tell me today?” and see what comes up. Practice allowing, nonjudgmental, not questioning, just letting flow through whatever comes up, even if it doesn’t make sense (yet).
Art therapy prompt:
Allow your inner child to be expressed! In any format, engage in some kind of expression art that your inner child would enjoy. Taking pictures of random things, painting big butterflies, scribbling. Practice releasing all expectations and just showing up.
Practices for the month:
Find a picture of your younger self. Consider doing this meditation to get to know that version of you. Notice how you feel towards that little version of you. Hang the picture of younger you somewhere you’ll see it every day.
Spend at least one minute per day checking in with your inner child. Practice when you wake up in the morning just asking your inner young one “how are you doing today?” and listening for the answer
Make 1 “adult” task fun.
I did this recently with my morning jog through the neighborhood. There I was on a beautiful sunny day, slogging through the motions of making sure I got some movement for my body. Suddenly, it hit me— what if I actually made this fun?? What would little Kelsey like to do in this moment? I started skipping, throwing my hands into the air and waving them around, sing-shouting, jumping to reach the leaves of trees as I passed under them… it was great! It’s so easy to fall into adult life and feel like everything has to be serious and boring… but why!? Why do we smile and laugh when kids are being silly, yet judge ourselves and other adults for the same thing? Because we’re afraid of the judgment of others? You may not believe me yet, but sacrificing our joy in an attempt to make others more comfortable is a waste of everyone’s energy. So invite your inner young one along for the ride next time you have a not-so-fun adult task to complete, and see if that young one has any ideas for how to make it more fun. Then actually do it! And if being silly in public is way too scary to start with, try it with an indoor task. Sing a silly song to yourself and the dishes as you wash the dishes! Dance as you vacuum! Make a game of putting away the laundry! Your inner young one will thank you.
Meditation of the month:
Connect with your Inner Child Guided Visualization Meditation
A meditation that can be used anytime and especially when you are going through big emotions and/or know that whatever you’re experiencing might be connected to something(s) you experienced as a child.
This can be used as a way to simply make contact and hang out with your inner child, or can be used as an emotional support tool.
Work with me:
Meditation
Summer meditation series —
Meditation for Modern Mystics Group Meditation
6 weeks June 18 - July 23
Wednesdays 6:00–7:20pm PT
8 CT/9 ET
Meditation 1:1s— Come learn how to meditate with me! 30 minute - 1 hour 1:1 sessions available
Therapy:
Individual therapy books are open
Couples therapy books are open
Resources:
Book: Adult
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents
Regardless of how supportive your parents are, chances are your parents did not have access to the emotional toolkit needed to support you as much as you deserve. I recommend this book for any human to learn how to be there for themselves and hold more realistic versions of what we expect from our caregivers.
Music: Feng Shui Wind Chimes by Ricardo
So random but one of my all time favorite background soundscapes to put on when I’m meditating or reflecting.
That’s it for now. Final recommendation for moving through big emotions? GO BE WITH THE WATER!! I spent so much time this past month in the ocean and the rivers around here and it really helped the emotions know how to flow. Baths work too!
Keep taking good care of you and your emotions <3
Kelsey
